5/7/10

I Am Donating My Body



In the interest of woman kind and the promotion of self esteem, I am prepared to donate my very average body to swimsuit designers everywhere. We can make a mold of my normal, average body out of silicone, like the ones they have on CSI, (appropriate because crimes against women are being committed!) and send it to all the design shops in the world. Evidently these designers are unaware of the shape and size of normal women and they are unable to locate models to use during their creative process. Well, either that or they are all malevolent, sadistic waifs and .... no, that can't be it, right?

 Is it too much to expect that if you are designing string bikinis you probably won't make them in a size 3x? By the same token, if you are buying a swimsuit as a more, let's say,  mature woman, you want a little more fabric and you probably want your parts mostly covered and held in place. No brainer?

I am 51 years old. I am 5' 8" tall. When I was 30 years old I weighed 115 lbs. and could wear anything I pleased. I was also wearing barely a B cup. Now I weigh 1** lbs. (did you really think?) and I am more well endowed.I don't want to wear pasties, nor do I want to be forced into any extreme waxing procedures. I don't enjoy pain, the eyebrow waxing is plenty!

A couple of days ago I bought a swimsuit. I haven't bought a new one for several years and this one caught my eye. I like the colors and the pattern. I was also pleased with the style, it's a 2 piece, with a full brief covered by a little skirt and the top is full length and sort of an apron style that ties in the back. The bra portion is the typical 2 triangles of fabric and it ties around the neck. No, I didn't try it on at the store, I picked out my size and went home to try it on. In the privacy of my own bathroom, I put on the bottom, good fit, good butt coverage, cute, tremendously pleasing so far.

Well, I put the top on, expecting to be thrilled! I got it tied, I pulled and tugged, twisted around, yanked, loosened, tightened....sigh. My mid-section was delightfully covered as were my nipples. That's about it. There was all kinds of hanging out the sides going on. Janet Jackson at the Super Bowl was far more covered than my girls were. These little triangles were made in a size 2. Not a good look unless you are a super model.

I take it back...they are all malevolent sadists!  Damn them!
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