Life On The Farm #3

I really need to spend some time at my sister's, it's a laugh a minute...well, for me it is! So my neice, Jess, has planted her vegetable garden and we'll see how well she does with that. She planted asparagus (yuck) I can't even see wasting good dirt for that stuff but also lima beans (yum). They have acquired 1 pig named, yes, Bacon, 2 cows, Bessie and Buttercup and a new horse, "A Horse With No Name", love that song. She is thinking of calling the horse Edward (Cullen). Now I remind you, these people have never been animal lovers particularly. They get pets and very shortly things go wrong and they give said pets away. Ok, granted these animals are not supposed to be pets, except for the horse, but they have named them. It will be a traumatic day when "Bacon" is transformed into strips and links!

Yesterday, early around 8:00 am, my niece was jolted out of a sound sleep by her mother screaming her name from downstairs. Jess ran down still in her pajamas to find that the cows had escaped the electric fenced pen. Obviously my sister wasn't planning to take care of the escapees so it fell to Jess by default. Why is it this stuff always happens when the more able and familiar folks are at work?

Jess grabbed some carrots out of the fridge and took off outside, in the rain, in her pajamas, to corral the wayward ones. The escapees were headed down the lane towards the house down the way (that's farm talk). According to Jess cows run really fast, like they are wearing PF Flyers, lightening on hooves! Off she went huffing and dripping with her carrots dangling enticingly in her hand. The cows? Not impressed with the lame carrot offering.

Jess got wet, she got muddy, she got winded, but she didn't get any cows. She came back to the house and they called, you got it, Josh! The saviour of cows and septic tanks. Josh came along and put some fresh feed in the cow pen with the gate opened and shortly the cows were inside. Ok, that's probably because Jess chased them down the lane and had them all worn out and hungry by the time Josh arrived.

They might be rethinking that solar powered electric fence. Apparently it isn't so effective on those cloudy, rainy days.

Life On The Farm

Well, my niece is in week number 2 of  "life on the farm" and she continues to learn about the differences between city living and the rural life. She seems to be diving in to the changes with enthusiasm, in fact, I heard the other day that she is planning to put in a vegetable garden. She can't even grow fingernails!

*blink*  *blink, blink*

Imagine, she's planting a vegetable garden on a farm, hunh, pretty innovative thinking.

WARNING: 
Reading further is not recommended for those with a  weak stomach!

It seems that last Friday Jess noticed a pretty distinct, unpleasant odor in the house. The origin of this odor seemed to be coming from one of the bathrooms so she went in search, sniffing her way from one toilet to another. She arrived at the last bathroom, raised the lid and found nothing amiss, but the odor was very strong. She was baffled by it. On her way out of the bathroom she pulled back the shower curtain and began to gag! The tub was filling with septic backup. Yes. POOP!

I believe I mentioned before that one of this girl's most frequently used words is Eeeewww. She gags at the word barf, and yes, she always gives sympathy barfs. In some ways she is very strong but never when anything icky is involved. Well, God bless her, she grabbed a plunger and started unclogging the tub drain. She was the only person at home at the time or, I suspect, this job would have fallen in to someone else's hands. She worked that plunger like she was drilling for oil in the desert and unclogged the tub. She may have been wearing a Vicks Vaporub mask by this time, not sure, but I'm thinking. Well, she forged ahead and armed with rubber gloves, Comet, 4 gallons of Clorox and a few thousand Scrubbing Bubbles, she cleaned that nasty tub.

Just as she finished rinsing the Scrubbing Bubbles down the drain her step-brother, Josh,  came home. Josh was born and raised in this rural area so he is quite able and familiar with such problems. I imagine Josh got a pretty good chuckle out of Jess's consternation. He went to get a snake (not the slithery kind but the plumbing kind) and head out to the septic tank and unclog the main pipe to the house. Jess tagged along, at a distance. Josh plumbed and snaked and whatnot and suddenly broke through the clog in the pipe. There must have been a good bit of pressure built up behind that clog because it all came shooting out of that 4" pipe in the ground....straight up at his face! Jess rolled, Josh fumed and went to find the hose.

I need to teach that girl to carry a camera with her. Such pictures we could have had! So now when she goes out in the yard she will need to wear her camouflage hip waders, a book in one pocket, a taser in the other and a camera around her neck. That's a picture.

On a side note: Josh does have a lovely, smooth,  peaches and cream complexion!?