Some Facebook Help and A Little Respect

My sister, Lorrie, and I are new to Facebook. We were dragged into this big new world screaming. People got us registered and tossed us in the hole. Recently we were reprimanded by our youngest sister for having put a message or comment in the wrong place. Here is my attempt to get some guidance as well as the response from my daughter (The Bee). 

Email to sister and daughter:

Alright. Lorrie and I are floundering here. We are drowning in our lack of edgy, cool, facebook knowledge. We need someone to spend a little time, half hour maybe, and teach us the ropes. Apparently we committed a faux pas recently and left a message on the wrong spot, wall, or ceiling or some kind of thing. *Horrors*
I believe that between the two of us and the two of you, we are the ones who taught you, respectively, how to ride a bike, play canasta, apply makeup, use a tampon, and drive a car. A little help here please?

Daughter's response:

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury I submit the following:

  1. Aunt Sherri taught me how to drive a car
  2. No one taught me how to use a tampon – in fact I still view it as a dangerous undertaking
  3. No one taught me how to apply make-up – in fact I still view it as a dangerous undertaking
  4. You may have taught me how to play canasta but I have mastered it on my own
  5. Riding a bike is over-rated

Nevertheless, I will try my best to help you with Facebook

  1. There are 3 ways to send people messages on facebook:
    1. A private message which will show up in their “Inbox” – you do this by clicking on the “Send ‘their name’ a Message” under their profile picture on their home page
    2. An instant message – you do this via the “Chat Box” on the bottom right of the screen. This box will show you all of your friends that are currently signed on and the process is (hopefully) self-explanatory from there.
    3. Leaving a message on their “Wall.” This is basically a quick message you leave on their page for them (and all their friends and your friends and friends of friends to see)

I’m curious to know what you two did wrong. I didn’t notice anything. Did someone yell at you??

Sister's response:

LOL, Jenn ... loved your jury submissions, I have a few of my own
1.  I taught myself how to use a tampon - that was a forever process in the bathroom
2.  I taught myself how to put on make up - might explain some things :)
3.  Donna was the one I had a sex talk (because my mother told me to) with and her best advice was to have him use 2, 2 I say condomns at one time - any feeling in that one?
4.  Driving a car - hmmm, Donna may  have taken me a few place
However, I give credit where credit is due ... you all taught me how to swim and to ice skate!

Like Rodney...I get no respect!


Unknown said...

I'd rather play canasta than surf Facebook anytime!


Me-Me King said...

I am a social network retard! I stopped joining groups after I finally joined My Space, Stumble Upon, Digg and Twitter. It's not that I can't learn, I simply don't want to.

P.S. My mother did not teach me to use a Tampon either. Nor did she tell me about the 2 inch hairs that would sprout overnight from my chin!

Lee said...

LOL!! My mom gave me the book Oh God, It's me Margaret and let Judy bloom teach me all that i know...which could explain quite a bit...

Jude said...

I belong to FB, but I totally ignore it along with all the others, I simply don't have the time. At least you tried to leave a message.

The Bee said...

The truth speaks for itself sister.

Ann said...

Facebook is one of those sites I just don't get. I have an account but I never go there. could never get the hang of it.

Anonymous said...

That was very funny...

Liz Mays said...

Little sisters have to throw their punches when they can!

Jen said...

Would you teach me how to play Canasta? My brother said I was to little to play. I learned the tampon on my own too. Too bad I wasn't blogging then it would have made a hilarious post.

You should print more of these sibling letters they are really entertaining.

Don't worry about messing up on Facebook, I'm pretty sure there is no Facebook Nazi out there but some people do take it more seriously than others do, just unfriend them. However, make sure you have your privacy settings set and don't just go with the default.

Nani27 said...

You taught me how to use a Tampon,Don. We were camping at Granite Hills....

BeadedTail said...

Funny post! I have refrained from getting on Facebook - so far!

Alesha @ Full Time Mama said...


Grampy said...

Very good post.LOL I am I guess on facebook. Not sure where my messages go. Glad I don't send many. Mostly respond when someone sends me a message.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

You pretty much lost me at tampon. But I'm a guy, what can I say?

(Seriously, congratulations on stepping into the now and for being bold enough to ask for help to do it. Kids are shitheads these days, and very protective of their technology.)