The Graveyard

Do you realize how vital your computer has become to your life? How it has become integrated into your every day comings and goings? I thought I did but, no, I really didn't have a grasp on the whole picture. Nearly every aspect of your life is reflected in some way on your hard drive. Far more personal than the contents of your wallet. It's scary.

I bought a new computer, probably a year ago. The old one was, well, old and unreliable, slow and quirky. Then one day it wouldn't boot up...Eghads! And off to the store we went. We searched, we questioned we read and we bought. Oh, happy day! We brought it home all bright and shiny. Oh it looked wonderful on my desk and this machine is quick, I click and I receive, easy as that.

The old computer, which served me well for years, has been sitting on the floor in my office. Over in the corner with the dust bunnies. Same place we all put them. I might have another one or two in the basement too. So a couple of weeks ago I noticed it and wondered if my brother-in-law (the master of computer geeks) could fix it well enough that my grandaughter could use it. She is turning six in a couple of weeks so she just plays her games and goes online to the Disney site.

Well, he did get it working properly, it isn't fast as lightening but it's fine. He called me to ask what I wanted to leave or delete. At first I said, oh I doubt there is anything to worry about on there, don't waste your time. Then a couple of phone calls later, I realized everything I have done in the past few years is on there...everything! Financials from a business we owned, yep. Personal banking, yep. Pictorial evidence in a lawsuit, yep. Word docs re: said law suit, yep. Credit card info, yep. Medical insurance and prescription info, yep. The details of my life contained in a little gray box, yep.

So this is why we all have electronics graveyards in our basements. I think I'll take them all out in the driveway and pour battery acid inside them. It's the only way to protect myself!

I Hear The Sound of Glass Shattering

There's a new football coach at Calvin Coolidge Senior High in DC. They named the new coach last week after the previous coach resigned. Her name is Natalie Randolph. She is 29 years old and it's believed that she is the only female head coach of a high school varsity football team.

Coach Randolph takes on her new job with plenty of experience backing her up. She played six seasons as a receiver for the D.C. Divas of the National Women's Football Association, helping the team to a title in 2006. Ms. Randolph also had the job of assistant coach from 2006-2008 at another DC High School.

The news conference drew a large amount of interest, as you would expect. The Mayor was in attendance as well as a room full of media personnel.This is big news and we can expect a good deal of coverage during the season. I imagine there will be an uncomfortable amount of focus on the Coolidge varsity team. A distraction? Certainly, but it may have more affect on the opposing teams than on the Coolidge players. As Ms. Randolph has witnessed as assistant coach in prior years, the opposing coaches were, perhaps, a little disconcerted at the thought of a woman coaching boys, varsity football.

The players are aware that this is a controversial move and that there will be a lot of naysayers who find this a difficult concept. As one of the players was quoted in The Huffington Post: "I need trash talk as my ammunition to do better," junior defensive tackle Daniel West said. "There's nothing like proving somebody wrong. And I think that's what we're going to have to do this season – because a lot of people have something to say about her being our coach, and I feel like it's my duty and it's the team's duty to prove everybody wrong, to show that it doesn't matter. As soon as we start winning, everybody will want to be on the bandwagon."

This is not the first time that a woman was hired to coach football by a DC high school. In 1985 Wanda Oates was named head coach at Ballou and lasted all of one day in the job. This was due to pressure brought on by opposing coaches who refused to go up against a woman coach. What will it be like in 2010? A far more enlightened reaction, you say? I would guess that the coaches will not be the largest problem this time. How about the parents? How will they feel about a woman coaching their boys?

 I imagine ticket sales for Friday night games will be through the roof. It might be worth a trip into DC to catch a game. I hope this lady has some very strong shoulders.

Always Be Prepared

Yesterday my sister and I were having a short road trip. Talk radio was on and we were chatting, venting our stresses, working out fixes for the economy, you know, the usual. She's on a diet so she wouldn't let me stop for snacks. Drat!

At some point she heard a snippet about the guy with the runaway Prius from the other day. She became a little agitated and snapped at me, "what would you do if your car was accelerating and you couldn't brake to a stop?".
Me. "Um, look for a soft, fluffy dirt bank to run into?"
Sister. "No you wouldn't. You would put the car in neutral. If you disengage the gears the car will decelerate and you will still be able to steer."
Me. "Ok, yeah, that's what I'll do if ever that happens. Thanks for the PSA."
Sister. "That's just common sense, why didn't that guy just put it in neutral instead of endangering himself and lots of other people on the highway? Idiot."
Me. "That's not the scenario that I try to mentally prepare myself for."
Sister "So what do you prepare for?"
Me. "Well, what would you do if there were a bunch of gunmen surrounding your house?"
Sister. "Gunmen? are you a secret agent?"
Me. "Maybe you need to rethink your preparedness plan, I see some holes in it."

Taking The Gold!

I'm nominating the trash can toss as the newest Olympic event. I guess this would be appropriate for the summer games. I know just the crew to win the gold too. They work my street every Monday and Thursday. Oh, they are shoo-ins, don't fool yourself. They've been practicing for years. They can fling a rubbermaid like nobody's business. Those cans will glide through the air elegantly and make a sound like cymbals crashing upon impact. It's like a street ballet.


You think you have a crew that could go up against my guys? Phhffft! Go big or go home, I say. My guys have a lock on the gold. I just watched them practicing out front. They're good, I'm telling you. Bring it baby!

WW-Drink Responsibly

Karaoke party at my house. Please - don't drink and sing. 

Do you want to end up on youtube?

Nike Shaky on Roethlisberger

It looks like there may be an opening with Nike. They need a new spokesperson, someone who is able to make good decisions and knows how to live within the law. Troubled Tiger has failed this criteria and now Big Ben has strayed from the path for the second time in less than a year.

I have a suggestion for Nike to go in a new direction. Maybe they need to walk away from all of the male super jocks and go down a family friendly avenue for their ads. Show some kids running fast and jumping high wearing Nike's newest. Hey it worked for PF Flyers! Anyway, it seems to me that the ad agency needs to reevaluate their strategy.

Perhaps it's time for all of us to reevaluate. As a society, it seems, we need to help these super jocks down from their pedestals. Obviously, they aren't worth looking up to and they can't handle the pressure. Look at what we are teaching our kids; drugs, gambling, murder, violence, rape, more drugs, oh and play some ball too. NO. If we want our next generation to be responsible politicians, athletes, bankers, CEOs, then we need to teach them responsibility.

Remember when you were in school and played sports? If you were in danger of failing a class then you were suspended from the team until you could bring your grades up. Education first, sports second. Not anymore. Now if you are in danger of a failing grade you may go in front of a review board and talk your way back onto your team. Sports first, education second. I know of a kid who was a star soccer player for his high school. He went to homecoming with his date, got blind drunk and drove his car into the side of a house! Miraculously no one was hurt badly. The car was totaled as was the house. It took 6 months to renovate this house. He was required to go in front of a review board and explain this incident but was told by the coach and administrators not to admit that he had been drinking. They had no proof either way as the case was going to court. He skated and so did the school and soccer team.

Ok, I'll climb down from the soapbox now, I've said enough. I will add that grandmoms wear Nikes too and I could model the hell out of a pair of walking shoes and I AM AVAILABLE.

I'm Still Cool

*Remember when cool was having a brand new 64 box of crayons  with a sharpener built in? 

*Remember when cool was those shiny black shoes with a clicky heel?

*Remember when cool was a new  bike with a banana seat and streamers on the handlebars?

*Remember when cool was the micro mini dress? How about a maxi dress?

*Remember when cool was peanut pants and body suits?

*Remember when cool was when that cute boy noticed you? The jock....or the bad boy?

*Remember when cool was big, stiff hair and leg warmers?

*Remember when cool was letting the kids make their own pizzas on sleepover nights?

*Remember when cool was being the mom who let all the kids hang out in the basement?

*And now, cool means being the grandmom who makes the very best T-Rex shaped pancakes in the whole world and making ice cream cone cupcakes for no reason at all.