The Dream

The illusive desire to get in shape. Not really to get in shape more like to already be in shape. If only we could twitch our noses and magically attain those buns of steel. Oh the dream. My buns are not steel or even aluminum, they are more like....memory foam. I don't see them turning to steel while I sleep. The only metal parts on my body are my fillings.

Oh, sure, I have exercise equipment. It's all piled in the basement growing cobwebs. I shudder to think how much money I have put out for such equipment over the years. Right now I have a home gym (huge thing) an elliptical trainer and a stepper thing (I forgot what it's called). None of these items is even good for piling other useless crap on!

I looked on Craig's List this morning to see what's listed in the "Dream of Getting in Shape Category" and I found a long list of useless crap that people are trying to sell:

Nordic Trac ProMmmm, hurts the arthritic knees

Abe Machine Exer Flex - Abe Lincoln? He's dead.

Weight Bench- I have plenty of weight thank you.

Exercise Equipment - Multiple, already have that.

See Why Your Neighbors Are Getting Into Shape (Our Secret) - Telling secrets!

Super Sundah SS40 Used Tanning Bed - I could do that.

The Food Lovers Fat Loss System - Sounds like me.

Bowflex Extreme Ab Attachment - Eeewww, hard!

Ab Lounge Sport - Lounge in my pj's? Maybe.

Bowflex Brand New Still In Box - I would get tangled in this thing.

Susan Lucci Pilates Chair Susan Lucci is in shape.

P90X Extreme Home Fitness DVD Set - Extreme again-eewww no.

Total Gym Home Gym- Have it.

Red Bull Energy Drink 2 x 12 - Drink this before and have a donut after.

How many dust collectors do you own? Do you use any of it? Once you are convinced that this is really not happening (2 weeks) do you sell it, give it, trade it or hang laundry from it?

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